Saturday, December 28, 2013

The Recap

Well here I am again. Almost 365 days later to this little place that I used to call my own.
 
There is and always has been something about the end of the year that I like to recap. I always get thinking about life and where it's been, what I've done and where I want to go. I have hardly posted any life events on this little page in quite some time. It has all been very minimal in the last two years that I've even been back in Michigan.
 
I have created a new home here.
It is so much more than the home I had once before. I've created more than just a life here. I've learned to fall in love with this city and cities surrounding. I've found new appreciation for the people in my life and have learned to accept new ones.
 
The life I am building with my boyfriend is the best ever. As I look at him across the kitchen table as I write right now I can't help but feel those little butterflies that he still gives me. Giving him that little kitty smile that he likes so much. Watching as he smiles back at me. This man is everything.
 
Twenty thirteen was not the best year health wise. Diabetes likes to kick my butt sometimes. Actually, diabetes wise, I'm in the best health ever. Blood sugar levels steadying out so wonderfully. Mind you, the holidays likes to give me highs from day to day. I've managed. My stint in the hospital in April due to a faulty paradigm catheter. And a high so long lasting in September that I vomited for 6 hours of my night due to a new paradigm kinking under my skin preventing the insulin from getting to me. It's crazy how insulin actually keeps me alive and feeling well.
 
The babe was wonderful through it all. I figured a hospital stay would scare him away, but it didn't. It actually brought us closer together. It was after I was released when "I love you" was finally said. Almost six months into it.
 
The progress I've made at Carhartt is wonderful. Going from just a contractor in September 2012, thinking I was going to lose my job in April. Getting that contract extended through another year. Shortly after that, getting hired into the company. It's nice to be working someplace where my hard works shows and pays off. All the projects they allow me to work on and do. I'm more than just a customer service rep, and I couldn't be happier. I cannot wait to see where I end up with the company or even in my career itself.
 
The second half of my twenties has started on a pretty good foot.
Twenty six and 2014 are going to start in a new world. I will no longer be covered under mummy and daddy's health insurance. I will officially be a big girl and be dependent on my own insurance. Not gonna lie, it terrifies me. How much more money will I spend on things like test strips and insulin?
 
In a few short months I'll be moving out of my apartment and in with the babe. Something that also terrifies me. I'm trying not to let one bad experience ruin it for me. At least if something were to happen I'll be a 10 minute drive from home and friends instead of a 4 hour plane ride. I think it'll be a fun new experience. I feel like we've already started a life here. He only moved into his house a week after we started dating. Since then we've done countless projects. Building a garden together in the summertime. I laid a brick trim along his front garden. We even share a cat, though he's in babes possession and name.
 
Will this again be my last post on here? Or will I start up again.
I have missed this little place. Sitting down and typing as if I've continued to do it every day still.
 
I miss my lovely followers as well too. I hope you are all doing well.
 

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

This is Goodbye

This is the first post that I have written on this blog in what, 10 months? This will also be the last post that I will write in said blog.

A Place I Call My Own has followed me through the last 5+ years. Through good and bad. As I went about trying to figure out what I am, who I am. My life. Sharing my art and what was the most important relationship and person that was in my life.

As a resolution to 2013 I decided to say goodbye to it all. Not to forget what this past was and held, but to also stop focusing on some of the people in it. When I started 2012 I went in thinking the worst. Overcome with the worst heartbreak I've experienced. Waiting and keeping my life on hold. Never did I think my life would be worth anything. I was convinced of it all. Sadly the readers here weren't/aren't truly in the loop of everything that I had been going through. I kept most of the hurt to myself and to personal friends and family.

I guess I could recap the last five months of my life. I can't help but say, that they have been the greatest five months that I've had. After a minor dose of Diabetic Ketoacidosis as July turned to August and a breakdown to one of my best friends in the hospital I knew something needed to be done, and a change in my life needed to be made.

I took the push of adrenaline and ended it completely with Frank. I gave myself the goals of finding a new job, buying a car, moving out. It was truly time to live my life for me. To focus on myself and what it would take to make me happy for myself.

The job hunting process began. I applied to a total of three jobs. Got two interviews. On August 27 I was hired in at Carhartt's headquarters.

Next step; car. I bought my first car on October 11, 2012. The biggest purchase of my life, and I am so happy to be able to do something.

I'm still working on moving out of home. It will happen. I have big goals for 25.

October also brought a new man into my life. Tall, funny, shy and a bit of a mystery. But you know what? It feels so good, and so different. I wasn't even looking for a boyfriend. Thanks to a bit to drink and building the nerves to tell my friend (who's a good mutual friend of his) that he was good looking. We've been talking and seeing each other ever since. I guess it was made "official" just after thanksgiving.

Funny, because a boyfriend was the furthest thing from my mind.

I'm saying goodbye to the life that I had before all of this. I'm not letting things get to me. Just enjoying living life one day at a time. Each day to its fullest potential.

I haven't even cried in three months. THREE MONTHS. If you know me, thats a crazy long time.

The happiness that I feel every day is incredible. I feel so incredibly and truly blessed beyond belief. I couldn't be more thankful for the friends and family in my life who have been there by my side, and especially this past year. They have been my rock. Keeping me steady and helped lead me in the right direction. Loved the church I've been attending on Sunday nights as well. If it wasn't for God, and my friends I'd still be lost and wandering.

I'm saying goodbye to the sadness that I have felt. For so long I felt sad. Never good enough. Whether it was people telling me not to embarrass them before going out, or just not getting the real support I needed. Sometimes I just needed someone to listen. Really listen.

Frig, Mike listens to every word that comes out of my mouth. He even remembers it too! Even things I said at the bar back in June. Maybe where the crush developed and I pushed aside due to guilt.

Now I feel like I can truly do anything I want if I put my mind to it. I'm learning how to drive a stick shift. Once the snow melts of course.

The stuff I never received doesn't even seem to matter. Sure when I see a movie I used to own, I'm pissed. But whatever. I can buy it again. There are just so many more important things that I can really care about. Things that actually matter.

No longer do I let myself get bullied, or let people bully me. There is no point to it.

So I want to bid a final farewell to 2012. A farewell to this awesome little bloggy that first started out as a portfolio for my art in 2007 and grew to so much more.

Twenty thirteen is the year of 25. To get hired on full time at Carhartt or someplace bigger. To move out on my own. To enjoy my new relationship and have fun with it. To meet new people and travel to new places. To really enjoy life.

Happy New Year! May 2013 and the years to follow be the best years of your life!


- Sam

Friday, March 2, 2012

What I Wore

March 2, 2012


Jeans - Gap 1969 UK
Sweater - Aritzia
Long sleeve - American Eagle 2006
White tank - Old Navy
Scarf - Gift
Boots - Diba, DSW
Leg Warmers - Gift
Purse - Coach
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